


house of stone

by bitterescapism



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterescapism/pseuds/bitterescapism
Summary: Ryujin looks at her for a while, searching for the slightest sign of a lie. “Good! Wouldn’t want you forgetting about my pretty face, ever.” Grinning, she struts forward, a little closer to Yeji now. “Jokes aside, I still wonder, was it really that hard to stay? Not that I’m angry or anything, looking back, I get why we split up, but sometimes this thought just crosses my mind - why didn’t we ever try to fix it? Fix us?”
Relationships: Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin
Kudos: 9





	house of stone

Ryujin hears leaves rustling from behind her. Her head turns, eyes drifting up to see a woman walking forth, looking down at the ground - seemingly unaware of her presence. Or maybe she is aware, and is just ignoring it. Either way, Ryujin keeps looking at her, eyes slowly moving up to see her face - and that’s when Ryujin sees it.

“Yeji?”

The girl’s head swiftly moves upwards, eyes meeting her own at the sound of Ryujin’s voice calling her name. “Oh,” she says, and nothing else. 

Ryujin rests her back and arms on the railings, a small smile on her lips. “Are you not going to say anything else?”

Yeji sighs, slowly moving forward again. “What am I supposed to say?” She frowns, “or, what do you want me to say?”

A giggle leaves Ryujin’s lips. “I’m not asking for anything, nor was I expecting you to say something. The singular ‘oh’ just sounded a little dry, no?” She turns her back, looking at the water flowing through the river. “But it’s not like I’d expect many words to come out of your mouth. You’ve always been the transient type - the human form of the saying, ‘brevity is the soul of wit.’ You don’t say much, but they’re usually enough for someone to question what you actually mean.”

“And you’re still the same as you were two years ago.” Yeji grins, “still talking like you’re chasing a word count.”

“You love it.”

Yeji hums, “maybe I do.”

“Maybe?” Ryujin quirks a brow. “I can vividly remember you saying you found it cute. It was raining that day, we were sitting on the couch - well, you were, at least. I was laying down, head placed on your lap, rambling about Evangelion, or something. A few minutes in, I paused in the middle of a sentence, saying, ‘don’t you find me talking so much...irritating?’ You shook your head, laughing, ‘no, it’s endearing,’ you said.”

Yeji heaves a sigh, then laughs. “You still think about me a lot, don’t you?”

Ryujin turns around to face the latter, grin so wide her dimples show. “Next question!”

“Well I guess I don’t really need your answer,” she beams. “But for the record, Ryujin? You’re still on my mind, too.”

Ryujin looks at her for a while, searching for the slightest sign of a lie. “Good! Wouldn’t want you forgetting about my pretty face, ever.” Grinning, she struts forward, a little closer to Yeji now. “Jokes aside, I still wonder, was it really that hard to stay? Not that I’m angry or anything, looking back, I get why we split up, but sometimes this thought just crosses my mind - why didn’t we ever try to fix it? Fix us?”

Yeji’s silent, Ryujin goes on. “I mean, maybe we really were just stupid. Hell, I’m still stupid to this day. But why didn’t we ever think to even just  _ try  _ to fix things? Maybe you thought of it, I don’t know. But I didn’t. As embarrassing it is to admit this, not once did I ever think to actually solve my problems. I always just run away from them. And you know what? Maybe that’s why it didn’t work, because I just run away from everything. I ran away from my parents, ran away from my responsibilities, ran away from all my problems, and worst of all, I ran away from you.” She looks up, a bitter smile plastered on her face. “I regret it. I regret a lot of things. I regret how I didn’t even think of a way to make things work, I regret how I just let what we had back then slip away like sand running through my fingers. I’d go back and see if I could fix things if I could, but I don’t want to mess the present up. So maybe it was fate that brought us here.”

Yeji looks at her with the eyes she’d only ever seen once - the day she left. “I don’t think I’ve got much to say. You’ve already said everything. But just to be honest, I don’t recall ever thinking to fix things, either. My mind was so full, thoughts like ‘just let it go already,’ and ‘this isn’t going to work anymore, let it go.’ So I guess I just went with my gut. I regret it, truthfully. I don’t know why I never once thought that maybe we’d find a way to fix things. But maybe it was meant to be that way. I found myself in the few months that left me alone without you, and I hope you’ve found yourself, too.” Yeji breathes in, “this feels awful to say out loud but in a way, I feel like that moment was a blessing - not excusing the fact that it’s something that haunts me every second of the day - I think it really did a lot, helping me find what I really want and who I really am.”

“The last time you’ve said that many words was when you said you didn’t think we were working anymore,” Ryujin giggles, “I’m glad you found yourself. ‘Cause I’m still starting to find out who I am, but I’m getting there. I’m close.” Her eyes meet Yeji’s, giving her the softest smile she’s ever given her in four years, “you’re still as pretty as the day we first met. Maybe even prettier.”

“Unprovoked?” 

Ryujin shrugs, "felt like it." 

A laugh echoes out, "you really are still the same as you used to be."

"Hey Yeji?" She calls.

"Yeah?"

"Would you give me another chance if I told you that I wanted to try again?"

Yeji blinks, a second passes. Then another, and another, then another one. Time feels awfully slow all of a sudden, and this burning feeling in Ryujin's chest isn't helping. Each burning second feels like a minute, each minute feels like an hour. Ryujin doesn't think she'll be able to take this any longer than she already is. "I don't think I'm ready yet, Ryu. It's not you, I promise." She then says, "I'm afraid, I don't know why, but I am. It's going to take a while for me to finally get over this. And I don't know if I'll still be loving you by then."

Ryujin’s still for a moment. “If you ever find yourself still loving me then, you know where to find me.”

Yeji nods, the smile on her face begrudging and somehow, harsh. “Got it.” She breathes out, back now facing the younger’s. “Would you really wait that long?"

“I’d wait a million years and maybe even more if it meant we’d love each other the way we used to again.”

Yeji doesn’t counter her statement, only making slow steps forward, away from Ryujin. The younger turns away, “don’t look back,” she tells herself. Don’t look back. 

And she doesn’t. 

Yet there’s this feeling in her chest that tells her that she should look back, that she just has to. Time feels like burning incense, each passing second feels stretched out to fit the duration of an entire month. Ryujin’s got nothing to think of it. Her mind is running in circles,  _ don’t look back, please just look back, please just don’t, look back right now or you’ll regret it, no, no, don’t, don’t do it, look back, Ryujin, just look back. _ The world around her feels like it’s moving without notice, her knees are weak and her mind is blank. She looks back. 

Yeji isn’t there anymore. 

“Fate brought us back together,” she begins, “only to pull us apart yet again mere minutes after.”

The world stop’s shaking, but her knees are still frail, looking at the grove standing in front of her, she wonders if anyone would give ear to her stupid little musings on love - how it’s like a candle lit aflame, slowly burning away; and when it’s still slowly blazing itself down, it feels slow, as if it’d last forever - and then it’s gone. It’s gone and it feels fake, it couldn’t be real, it couldn’t have finished off so quickly - it was burning so brightly just now, was it not?

As the sound of footsteps slowly faded away, Ryujin felt weak. It’s just the same as two years ago; except, it’s not her that’s leaving this time. 

“You’ll come back,” she says. “You’ll come back.” But it feels less of a sure statement, more of a lie to keep herself afloat. “You’ll come back,” she tells herself, she doesn’t sound so sure. “No you won’t.”

Her eyes are glued to the ground, refusing to look up in fear of locking eyes of a stranger - to have them see her eyes so full of vulnerability irks her. Then again, they’d probably forget about her five seconds later. “It’s useless,” she bites her lip. “There’s no telling whether or not you’ll come back. And even if you do, you probably wouldn’t even love me the same way you used to anymore. Or maybe you’d come back, loving me the same as you used to, but the feelings in me have already long vanished. Seemingly impossible to bring back. This is pointless, is it not? There’s no point in actually waiting so long over...love.”

“...so why am I so determined to wait a million lifetimes for the chance to have our love actually work out?”

This is fine. This is perfectly fine.

Ryujin is fine. 

She’ll be okay.

Eventually, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> she's not ok lol


End file.
